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robot rock - human watch
9/7/2010 7:00:00 PM
Jeff was just barely in the door when he dashed up the stairs and got the Roomba off the charger. "I've been wanting to see how long it takes for it to vacuum downstairs all day!"

I have died and gone to heaven. Jeff is excited about cleaning?! Well it took a robotic vacuum to make it happen but oh well, I'm living the dream now. For real.

On the weekend I had enough. I took the shitty upright vacuum back to Walmart. I hadn't intended on buying a robot vacuum just a simple replacement that actually sucked more than my shitty Bissel. Man that thing was so shitty, it actually blew the pet hair away so that sucking it up was impossible. I walked down the vacuum aisle and headed straight for the dyson. Having already fallen for another infomercial this past long weekend...(it's what happens when I have time to actually watch tv - I buy shit.) so having just spent a bunch on an ab machine, I decided the dyson wouldn't come home with me. If I'm going to spend that much, I guess I'd rather get central vac. It's flushed in our house already, so we'd really just need to buy the unit...but then I saw it out of the corner of my eye. The little iROBOT vacuum. Ready to take on cleaning with no effort. Me likey. I'd actually still have to lug the dyson around. Can you believe I pulled my shoulder muscle in the spring vacuuming? I guess I go a little full tilt with the vacuum. Get the F*$* out of the way when I'm vacuuming! :D

I really like the little robot vacuum. Don't think for a moment that you'll do other productive things while it's cleaning your floors. Last night we moved all the cords and dining chairs and sat and watched the Roomba go around the living room, dining room and kitchen. Watching as it learned how to navigate the bar stools, laughing as it went under the couch we were sitting on. The dogs sat quietly and watched too. Even the cat lied on the stairs looking down thinking "what in the f*#* is that?"

A couple of times the cat hid and pounced about to chase it, but almost as if it was toying with the cat, it turned 360 degrees and started heading towards the cat. This caused the cat to retreat and question its hunting skills. I find anything that messes with the cat entertaining.

We've decided to call the Roomba "JOMALLEY" after our friend Joe who is a bit of a clean freak about floors and who we think would make a good manservant.

Ahhhhhhhh! It's the start of my robot dreams. It begins with a harmless cleaning bot and next thing full on cylon in my living room. Weee can't wait!

Next comes hacking the roomba. I'd really like to reprogram its beeps and make it say things. Maybe a few "ouches" when it runs into the furniture and walls plotting the room. A "come empty me" when it's full. Perhaps break into song when it's finished cleaning the room. "All the single robots, all the single robots, put ya hands up!"
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