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wabbithole transmission incoming
10/25/2006 11:33:00 PM
The following is a transmission I sent to my friend Jeff who is in the process of returning his laptop to Future Shop for the 3rd servicing, hoping to get a new replacement under warranty.


I wish you the best of luck with the smackdown. I would consider the sympathy ploy, (make them feel sorry for you), however the fear ploy (make them feel scared of you) might also work. Either of these techniques has been successfully deployed by ninjas, so I'm sure you will get the results you wish for.

Maybe you need a pretty girl to go in with you to flirt with the geeks at future shop. (sex ploy) that is usually effective too. Many a rebate has been cashed using this effective technique. Blonds score high with this but often they forget to keep the mission goals in mind and ruin negotiations. You would likely get the best results with a brunette.

If all else fails I would suggest a *battlecry* this is really primarily used for an emergency when all other ploys are failing. Use caution when emitting a *battlecry* however, based on the reception of the sales geek. If he looks like he might play online computer games you may have success especially if you follow up with "wuah wuah" or "shambles". As in: *battlecry* "this fu&kin speaker is grinding...total shambles! Time for another service order wuah wuah."

*****Whatever you do, do not attempt to use the *battlecry* on a female salesperson. There is no recorded history of this ever working, so you would be treading into dangerous unfamiliar territory that could cause your demise and fail to meet the primary objectives.

Wabbithole transmission out,

-Lo

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