It's Lumpy Stewy Chewy and Beefy!

1971: I awake from my subconscious slumber.

1974: I fracture my skull. I don't remember this. In fact I have no recollection of any memories before that point. (For the previous note, I've been told that's when I came into existance.)

1975: I fly around the house during the daytime. More like floating.

1976: I'm forgetting how to fly.

1977: I get my first chihuahua. A little white one. Mitsy, the runt of the litter. I instantly connect with this little dog.

1978: I spend time in front of a black and white television watching Space1999 and StarTrek.

1981: I use a Commodore Vic20 for the first time. 5 kb RAM + 15 kb ROM = 20 kb. I want to learn Basic.

1982: I save up my allowance to buy my first computer. $100 gets me a used Commodore Vic20 of my own with cassette tape drive. I just get it home and then it breaks. I was heart broken. My dad sends it off to get fixed. I feel extreme joy when I get it back. I can then be found typing over 20 lines of Basic code, just to make 30 seconds of ufo sounds.

1983: I try out for the basketball team, after picking up the nickname JJ Walker. (I had such a wicked fro as a kid) I play point. I learn to dribble with my left hand. I start drumming that same year. My ambidextrious training continues.

1984: My first french kiss. I could mostly be found playing Dig Dug on my cousin's Commodore 64.

1985: I can moonwalk like Michael Jackson. My nickname is just JJ now. I wrack my Ms. Pac Man. Getting over a million points the score goes back to zero.

1986: I meet my best friend for the next 10 years.

1987: The black era begins. I only wear black clothes for the next few years. I form a band called Denial. I learn to play the bass guitar. My nickname is now Jay.

1989: Denial performs Cult songs in front of a live audience.

1990: I move to Montreal to live life as a groupie of the Rock band The StrateJackets.

1991: I discover I'm very creative. I love to paint.

1992: The black era is over. My interest in computers doesn't go away. I get ridiculously high marks (all papers and exams over 95%) in computer class at university.

1993: I use a Macintosh for the first time. I decide to become a graphic designer. Ren is born. My second chihuahua.

1995: I buy my first Macintosh laptop. I rename it HAL on the anniversary of HAL's birth. It's a piece of crap. The 5300 series - they've been known to catch on fire.

1996: Userland Frontier scripting and HTML. I realize that I have no close friends who I can talk tech with. This makes me feel lonely.

1997: I become a better graphic designer. I love design. I meet Kenny, the funniest guy ever. We work together perfectly. He calls me Larry Gowan, cause I start to develop a short lived taste for the queerness of mid 80's Canadian Pop bands. (Just Larry Gowan maybe a little Corey Hart.) I start my Karate training.

1998: I develop a fondness for jazz. I become addicted to Tetris, I've been told women are better at this game. I agree. I love negative space. I buy the first edition bondi blue iMac. For the next 6 months I am satisfied with my computer.

2000: My desire to never stop learning takes over. I head for the West to become a programmer.

2002: I attain my last brown belt in karate.

2003: I'm looking for a smokin new laptop with wireless shizamo's. I get my black belt in Shotokan Karate.

2004: I bought a sweet ultra thin and light laptop with wireless shizamo's (excellent for travelling), the joy lasted for 3 weeks before I found another to drool over. I make arrangements to buy this one too. It's the best laptop in the world. It has a dvd burner, satellite wireless and a 15 inch crispy display. Mooogooohaahaaahaaaa.

2005: My world domination plans are underway. I attain Nidan (2nd degree) in Shotokan karate.

2006 I rank my fake friends on myspace. None of my real friends make my top 10. Only musicians I don't know but enjoy listening to. I actually know about 1% of those on my friends list.

2007: I buy my second Mac laptop. This one might do for awhile. I'm lured to joining "the facebook" to make connections with people I actually know. I deny any requests if I haven't at the very least met you. I confess to denying a few requests of people I know will have whiny status updates...who needs that in my news feed. Not me.

2008: I finish the first draft of my novel. I bought my first house! I start a job doing creative web work with a great team of like-minded nerds.

2009: I reserve "shizamo" on twitter - but refuse to limit my expression to 140 characters - so I don't post anything for months. I gradually follow a few people I know on twitter, but ignore most others. I use this medium for conversations and thoughts. I don't buy in to following celebrities, even those made famous by twitter with shit in their names.

2010: I survived Las Vegas.

2011: My daughter Vaeda Zo was born. Future space exploration leader.

2012: I have no idea what happened this year. New mommy memory loss.

2013: I moved to the country! 5 acres of woods. Peace. I'm back in school again, for the 3rd time. This time it's about the brain not computers. (Almost the same.)

2014: I haven't given up here yet. I've still got a lot to say.