look into my eyes, you are getting very sleepy...
look into my eyes, you are getting very sleepy...

The viddy projects
My kung foo viddy
Jackie I'm ready for my debut!   920 KB
the fire project
This little viddy is what happens when you mix, a roommate, some ninjas, (no wait that was my imagination going off there) a barking chihuahua, kerosene and a match.  6.3 MB
Goo
I think Goo and I are going to be really good friends. See the encounter for yourself.  2.4 MB
Action figure Jesus
Action figure Jesus starring in "jesus…jesus christ." He's so holy.  5.7 MB
Hey man (Amen)
Action figure Jesus is back in "Hey Man (Amen)". I don't know why he speaks German when he meets the devil.  7.2 MB
iSwitched
Here's what happens when you mix a new Mac with a former PC user. Rean switched.  6.7 MB
RedRocket Crotch
This is a typical Friday at school with my students. No seriously.  6.9 MB
Outdoors + Gi
At the karate bug bash, I gave unsu a go with the cam rolling.  5.8 MB
Punchin out candles
It's only fun when it works and you don't get burned. Ugh, that was a silly play on words.  1.9 MB
Luck, awareness and quantum entanglement
11/19/2016 11:11:00 AM
I’ve been thinking about how lucky I am lately. I've always just related this to my optimistic outlook and predisposition for happiness and laughter. I've been made aware recently that I should perhaps question whether or not luck exists. I had to turn to quantum mechanics to begin to rationalize it all to myself. I thought first of Schrödinger's cat. The idea that the cat was both alive and dead (Quantum superposition) in both states at the same time until the cat was observed. In this case are we not all real-life Schrödinger's cats? We exist in a quantum entanglement within an incalculably immense universe that at any moment any number of good or bad things could happen; and perhaps they really all do happen simultaneously.

Getting back to quantum entanglement; The basic idea is that two particles can be intimately linked to each other even if separated by billions of light-years of space; a change induced in one will affect the other. Does this explain love? Einstein and others considered such behavior to be impossible, as it violated the local realist view of causality (Einstein referring to it as "spooky action at a distance") Particles can be seen in excited or non excited states that change with random observation.

Nasa Jet Propulsion laboratory wrote an article called “Particles in Love: Quantum Mechanics Explored in New Study

Technology used to study the "love" between particles is also being used in research to improve communications between space and Earth. “And so, what began as the study of "love" between particles is contributing to innovations in communications between space and Earth. "Love makes the world go 'round," and it may, in a sense, help us learn about other worlds.”



Well that sounds both lucky and and love-ly, and so does this… Quantum Entanglement: Love on a Subatomic Scale

Perhaps the question “does luck exist?” is unanswerable for paradoxical reasons. Perhaps it exists and doesn’t exist based on our awareness and observations. Kind of like this duck and rabbit. Both existing at the same time. I suppose it doesn't change my believe in luck, but gives me the option to know that it randomly might not exist, or exist at the same time.

Rabbit Duck
This was automagically filed under the fringe
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the black journal
10/18/2016 8:53:00 PM
There’s this black hard covered journal I started in 1987. I suppose I thought I would fill it with creative writing within the year. I’ve carried that black journal with me since then. Tonight as I was cleaning out my closet I found it again in with all the colored karate belts and love letters and post secondary diplomas and high school year books.

I started the journal with a story about a girl named Penelope. The story was picked up many times over 10 years or so. Each time her adventure continued where it left off. She met a wizard and felt safe and secure when she looked into his deep eyes.

In amongst the stories were recorded facts about where I was living at the time, where I was working, who I was in love with…and sometimes what I had learned about life so far. Each entry showed a more mature person writing. From silly poems in high school to quotes by Sartre, and life lessons learned. Throughout it even with sad events was a sense of joy and happiness.

Sept 27, 1989 (double spaced)

So for once just say what you want without being afraid of what lies between the lines. After all, if you write the lines you should be able to decide what it is you want to put in them, and what lies between them. That is today’s message. LOOK into it. - Lorrie”


Ok so not everything I wrote was insightful and brilliant. But some of what I read and felt it was worth noting was…like this quote.

“Could there be a more uncomfortable position intellectually than floating in the thin air of unproved possibilities, not knowing whether what one sees is truth or illusion?” - Carl Jung

This entry sometime in January 1993 was a poem I wrote after hearing on the news that Dod, a convicted killer was executed by hanging. His final meal was seafood, potatoes and lemonade.

DOD
SALMON
SCALLOPED POTATOES
LEMONADE
KNOTTED
LEFT EAR
LEFT SWINGING
KILLER
DEAD


Jesus that’s morbid. I used to be a little drawn to the dark side. There was a cute little post about my dog Ren. In August 21, 1994 - “I have a dog now - Ren. He is my best friend. He’s a funny little critter who shits in my brothers room. He’s got a bad temper and has bitten me on numerous occasions. I still have a mark on my wrist from the time he bit me a month and a 1/2 ago. He thinks he is the master…. He knows when I’m talking about him. He chases shadows. He has a best friend too! Not me though - Mickey the beakler that belongs at the farm. They play in joyous doggy bliss.”

My handwriting has changed so much, sometimes to suit the entry. It’s never the same throughout the book. It’s like I change it as often as my personas. I think that was the designer in me, styling the writing to match the content.

In 2006 I wrote, “I have a long way to go in life. I want to live the most joyful and loving life. I want to share my experiences with my kids and find that partner. I know he’s out there. But most importantly I know what’s ‘in here’ is enough to be thankful and joyous from this moment on.”

Ten years had passed since my last entry in that journal. I wrote an update this evening to catch up to my life so far. It’s like a highlight reel - even more condensed than this blog. 3 pages for 10 years. I think the book will last a lifetime at this rate. I suppose my daughter will get to know her mother through her writing, but I hope that she remembers her mother through her giggling and sense of adventure.
This was automagically filed under just plain funsies
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Not aware of the tulips
9/29/2016 2:30:00 PM
The other day I was reading a passage from Moshe Feldenkrais book The Elusive Obvious. He was discussing how he met Heinrich Jacoby who was teaching in a similar way as Moshe had been. Moshe realized that "through his own self generated exploratory learning process, he created an elegant and economical system of focused attention and unique movements that led thousands of individuals to overcome the results of accidents, illness and disabilities. He would not have succeeded if the brain wasn’t plastic." Yet when he met Heinrich, he realized that he wasn’t applying his principles to areas of learning outside of movement. Heinrich asked him to draw the lamp on the piano in the room. Moshe had drawn from memory mostly (the thought of a lamp) not paying close attention to the subject he was drawing. His drawing didn’t look anything like the lamp in front of him. Heinrich had him search to find the same ellipse he had drawn in the lamp in front of him. He began again to look closely at the lamp then only draw what he observed. The next drawing he attempted looked like a painter had done it. He didn't draw lines, but began to look at the light and shadows and let them emerge from his drawing more accurately. How was this possible to change his abilities so quickly? The act of becoming aware of what he was doing and what he was looking at allowed him to do it differently.

Vaeda brought home a drawing the other day. I’m such a proud mom, and love that my daughter enjoys drawing and painting. Her child like wonder allows her to create the most interesting artistic drawings. I’ve curated the best of her drawings and started a gallery wall in the stairwell to display her 4-5 year old marvelous creations. Unlike Moshe, I went to art school in Montreal and then followed that up with a graphic design career that spanned nearly 20 years, which even included teaching upcoming graphic designers. I learned to observe what I saw then represent that observation to the best of my abilities.

When I looked at Vaeda’s drawing of a tulip, I didn’t see her usual characteristic flare, that childlike un-inhibition creates. Instead it was a very contrived looking tulip. I asked her “Did the teacher show you how to draw this tulip?” “Yes.” She said. To which I responded “Well that teacher doesn’t know how to draw!” And there you have it, in amongst the drawings was the source photo from the teacher; the most ugly square + triangle house with trees and clouds and ugly ffffing tulips lining the front of the house. I thought to myself, she has no business teaching my daughter art. None whatsoever. I will likely encourage Vaeda live a year in Montreal to study art to un-do this idiotic tendency to create ugliness based on someone else’s notions. Yes that might sound severe, but I don’t consider her teaching her anything aside from conforming to the standards of ugliness that everyone else eventually does unless they learn a new way, once their curiosity and awareness is taken from them.

I don’t think I would be annoyed about it if I hadn’t just read that passage about true learning based on awareness. It’s the same thing with movement and physical rehabilitation; importance is too often placed on getting them to DO something for the sake of doing it even if it’s done badly and with a lot of effort VS to feel and become aware of what they can do now and work around the edges of that, slowly exploring what is possible in an effortless way. It gets me on this vigilant path, because knowing there is a more powerful way to encourage learning that gets more powerful outcomes is the learning experience I want her and everyone I meet to have, and it begins with awareness.
This was automagically filed under Anat Baniel Method
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The practice
8/9/2016 9:07:00 PM
I’ve been giving an average of 4-5 ABM lessons a day for the past 2 weeks. I’ve hit my first milestone of filling my schedule for the week and it’s taken about half the time I expected it would. I gave a lesson to a lady who had fibromyalgia and was in chronic pain for the past twenty years. She was astonished that she was pain free and moving well for almost 7 days leading up to her next lesson. Word of mouth from someone who has a good outcome is so wonderful…I think she told most of her relatives! The power of our brains to change and re-organize is really quite astonishing. I’ve never expect such dramatic outcomes but I almost always see subtle changes after every lesson. I get very enthusiastic when I hear feedback like this…like there's a bigger picture at play for me being drawn to do this kind of work. The joy it brings me when someone’s life has improved from their ability to change based on experiences I was able to provide them is incredible. To be able to continue evolving and learning while building my practice drives me to make any effort required.

I’ve been working 12 hour days on average 2-3 days a week and 8 hour days for the remainder of the work week for the past year. Building my practice first only in the evenings after a full time job all day. Now I find myself working evenings to accommodate my regular clients who need to get in on a more frequent basis. I’ve been completely wiped for the past 2 evenings after I finally get home to rest. You want to feel good after an 8 hour day?…work a few 12 hour days a week then you really appreciate the free evenings when you only work 8 hours.

All of this in light of my post awhile ago about doing less this year. I have learned to pace myself well in the past month. Slow and steady really does help you focus and feel more. I’ve caught myself rushing in the past and now I realize that even though I have a lot to do, I’m ultimately in control of the pace it occurs. This has been a great to influence how I work with someone to get them to slow down and become more self aware.

I gave a lesson tonight to a guy with CP who was in a wheelchair. He was quite spastic and completely disorganized while lying on my table. Limbs at times held spastic in the air. As the lesson progressed, I noticed his breathing change and become slower and fuller. I noticed how his spastic limbs started to drop and become better organized in the gravitational field. As he quieted and flattened out somewhat on the table I felt how my nervous system and brain was able to guide his to become more aware of parts of himself. As I took his spastic arm in the direction of his face, I felt his elbow soften and as his own hand touched the side of his face he let out a big sigh. Perhaps this is what Moshe Feldenkrais was referring to in his book The Elusive Obvious when he said:
“These hands sense at the same time as they direct. Both the touched and the toucher feel what they sense through the connecting hands, even if they do not understand and do not know what is being done. The touched person becomes aware of what the touching person feels and, without understanding, alters his configuration to conform to what he senses is wanted from him. When touching I seek nothing from the person I touch; I only feel what the touched person needs, whether he knows it or not, and what I can do at that moment to make the person feel better.”


This gives me a different perspective now daily. How can I get irate about a traffic light, or a guy at the grocery store who bangs into my cart? When I’m spending so much time thinking about how our brains are able to change. I start to question all of the ideas I have about love. What is love if not caring for a person giving them your attention and focus and helping them feel better about themselves. My awareness and compassion has increased and that has made me truly happy in those connected moments. What if all of us felt that connected to each other daily? The world would be a better place.
This was automagically filed under Anat Baniel Method
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Filling up my cup
7/20/2016 11:41:00 PM
Last week as I explained the approach of the Anat Baniel Method to a new client on the phone, someone in the waiting room sat intently listening to the call. She had a stroke a few years ago which affected her left side. She had had physio and various rehabilitation approaches since then and still wasn't able to walk without a gait or use her left arm. She immediately asked about it when I got off the phone.

After her first lesson I noticed that her left leg was less spastic, and more importantly her torso wasn't spastic and she could even begin to differentiate between her ribcage and her pelvis as I gently twisted them separately at the end of the lesson. She began to feel her pelvis and ribs along the left side. Yet her left arm remained quite spastic, bent at the elbow, the hand clasped into a fist near her chest.

When she returned for her second lesson, I asked if she had noticed any changes since her first lesson. She told me that she now feels her pelvis moving when she walks. She went home and lied down, and her spastic left arm which was habitually held tight to her chest, had lengthened down her left side. She was so enthusiastic for her second lesson. She then described how her left heel wasn't able to touch the floor and she swung her leg out to the side to clear the foot with each step.

After her second lesson today when I brought her up to standing she stood evenly and well balanced with the weight distributed evenly on her skeleton...and her left heel was fully touching the floor as it was on the right foot. When she became aware of how strong and balanced she felt on both sides, she then noticed her heel was down. Even before she asked to hug me, I could sense this was a powerful change for her. We hugged, and then she walked around I asked her to feel her pelvis and notice how flat her left foot had become, with each step just like it had on the right.

It was an overwhelming sensation for me, of enthusiasm and gratitude that I get to help people really change their lives in a profound way. My cup filled back up today helping this sweet woman rediscover herself and get a glimpse at the person she was before her stroke. She's now aware first hand that she can upgrade her brain and recover functional movement with more and more enriched learning experiences.

This evening, I had a great conversation with an old friend and a very new one that continued to make me feel blessed to have such wonderful caring positive people in my life.
This was automagically filed under Anat Baniel Method
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Happiness and intelligence
7/7/2016 11:11:00 PM
"The world breaks everyone, and afterward, some are strong at the broken places." Ernest Miller Hemingway

I've never felt more courage to be different and come from a place of helping others first. I had an amazing experience today with a little boy with Autism. The connection you can have with children when you are helping them learn is powerful. Someone once told me that I was likely on the spectrum because of my particularities and penchant for analyzing and math. I don't think they took into account my love of connecting with people from being truly interested in who they are and what makes them tick. Coming from a place of helping and connecting instead of fixing and correcting. If I'm on the spectrum I say we all are on one end or the other. I'm quite comfortable existing here in my quadrant, because happiness lives here.

"Happiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing I know." - Ernest Miller Hemingway
This was automagically filed under the fringe
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My departure from Technology.
5/27/2016 2:32:00 PM
I’ve worked in the IT field for over 20 years. In that time, I’ve seen incredible developments in web technology and design. I’ve even been a part of a scappy little startup for the past 8 years that has just recently really solidified its roots as a company that is disrupting the digital signage industry. It makes me proud to know that I am a shareholder; that I've invested in this company and will continue to support them and cheer on their success.

As a woman in this field I have seen my share of stereotyped behavior from everyone from sales people to fellow developers about a female working in technology. The bias is formed around the mis-informed perception that women are not seen as having the intelligence to understand technology enough to develop it. I’ve worked on both sides of development teams in the past. From being the one who codes a website application to create a contest engine, or even developing this very blog from code (not Wordpress - hell even before Wordpress), to being the one who builds a brand and allows a company to be perceived that they are farther down the runway than they are; creating a perception of success that directly impacts how customers buy. As I reflect on all of it, I realize that it always came easy to me. It was never difficult to learn new software or develop with new methodologies. Each time I would add to the base of skills I already had and the ease of adoption for anything new was an easy fit. I suppose it’s just how my mind works. I wouldn’t have been drawn to this industry if I wasn’t a little bit of a designer mixed with a developer. Gosh, I'm not even content just using one dominant hand, I've been ambidextrous for as long as I can remember.

I had a conversation with a woman today who’s working in technology in the sense that they are a content writer and social media user. After hearing that I was retiring she said “Yes, it must be hard to keep learning new technology.” Which I replied, “No, I’ve never had a problem with that in the 20 years I’ve been doing it.” She made the assumption that I was leaving to pursue an “easier” career. One that didn’t require as much thinking or learning. I didn’t expect this type of bias from another woman, one who perhaps doesn’t develop technology, but at the very least adopts the use of it easily. She perpetuates the notion that technology is hard which isn’t true. It’s all about passion. I am passionate learning anything new. Doing the same things over and over can be boring for me. I love to create and design and build things. It’s easy when you follow your passion.

The thing that isn’t explained when a conversation like the one above becomes awkward, is that my passion has changed. I’ve moved from technology as a focus to the brain and the field of neuroscience. That is where my new passion lies. It’s easy to understand once you know the life journey I’ve had. Once I learned the Anat Baniel MethodSM (ABM), there was no easy way to not get bored using a computer every day. I never thought I would say that 20 years ago. You see, watching my daughter at the pediatrician this week was reassurance that I had made all of the right choices so far. I can honestly say that I doubt she’s seen a child with hemiplegia CP progress as well as my daughter has. So what’s the difference? Surely there are other hemiplegia CP kids in PEI that had all of the same therapies that my daughter has...all but one...ABM. They aren’t seeing the same outcomes because they weren’t given the same learning experiences. So it's with that idea, that they could be doing just as well as my daughter has that drives me head first into a new career working with adults and children with special needs to provide the same experiences and opportunities to learn and change.

Steve Jobs, once asked the Pepsi CEO if he wanted to sell sugar water for the rest of his life or if he wanted to change the world. When I truly reflect on that and what it means over the course of your lifetime and what you've been put here to do, I can't sell sugar water anymore. I don't have plans to change the whole world...well not right away, but I do have plans to change the lives of some very special children. So that they are able to completely change their trajectory in life to live a life with more happiness and comfort being themselves.

Well that said, I doubt I will go on much of a tech hiatus. I'm drawn to anything that challenges me to think and keep learning. Which is what ABM does for me. I've had to really upgrade my brain over the past 3 years, and I have to continue upgrading and evolving to be able to help someone upgrade theirs.

I'm glad we had this little chat. For any of you young girls out there thinking of getting into the field of design or technology please feel free to contact me and ask questions or get help with something you are learning or just reach out if you are facing the people who think tech is too hard for women. It isn't. I will call you up and tell you so as much as you need.
This was automagically filed under geek
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Snowboardsies action in Banff.



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Read my Open Letter to the Government of PEI and Health PEI here.


Renbot
Ren was my chihuahua.
Ren had a bad attitude most days, he bit people, but he knew tricks too.

**Doggie bloggie.**
(Refresh for more ren thoughts.)
Mamma I need to take a whiz.



Photos
Various photo galleries here.

Travel

Photos of Brasil

February 3rd - 11th, 2005
Sau Paulo, Brazil
Carnival...Check out the carnival costume.


Flash in the Can 2004

Photos of FITC 2004
April 3rd - 5th, 2004.


Photos of Belize, Jul. 26th - Aug. 10th, 2003. Vacation, Mayan ruins and snorkling.


Funsies!
For your mathly addictions. My java calculator...(You need the Java Plug-in to view.) Psst...try dividing by zero, I think I handled that quite nicely. ;) Check it...

How do you become a geek you ask? Hmmm. I dunno. All I can tell is how it came about for me... Here's an except: 1981: I use a commodore Vic20 for the first time. 5 kb RAM + 15 kb ROM = 20 kb. I want to learn Basic.. Read More...


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and I kick ninja ass too!
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